ROSS AND PAT FRAHM

Pat was born in Wilkinsburg, Pennsylvania, a suburb of Pittsburgh and lived there the first 25 years of her life. Her parents are Wendell and the late Virginia Wineman. She has one brother, Rev. Jack Williams, a Presbyterian minister now in Washington, D.C. He resigned from the position of Executive Presbyter in Appleton, Wisconsin and is married to a Presbyterian minister who holds that office. This title indicates a position with a huge number of churches to look after, seeing that their pulpits are filled and dealing with their great number of problems.

Pat went to school in Wilkinsburg followed by business school, where she took a secretarial course. She worked for Westinghouse Airbrake and Westinghouse Electric Corporation in their educational department. At that time their job was recruiting and training engineers to go out to different parts of the country to work in their affiliate plants. However, she didn’t meet an engineer doing that. She met Ross Frahm.

Her brother had a big part in this: Ross’s brother, Warren, was enrolled in Pittsburgh Theological Seminary in preparation for becoming a Presbyterian minister. From the time Pat’s brother Jack had been in high school he, too, wanted to be a minister. The students of that seminary persuaded Jack to attend the Presbyterian college (now extinct) at Tarkio, Missouri in order to get his Greek and Hebrew requirements. This was where Ross went, and Jack and Ross became roommates. That was how Ross and Pat met. At their graduation, Jack was married; Ross was his best man and Pat was the bridesmaid. That was when they had their first date.

Ross came from good German stock, having been born to Herman and Anna Frahm. They lived on a farm between Gladbrook and Reinbeck, Iowa. He describes his mother as a very kind, compassionate person; his father, at least on occasion, as a very hard man, capable of anger. Until he became a teenager Ross saw him as fearsome.

There were lots of relatives particularly on his mother’s side. She was one of 11 children, and they all settled in the vicinity. They were closely knit and had frequent family reunions that drew lots of people, many of Ross’ cousins. There were no individual decisions on attendance. Of course they would go. His father, on the other hand, had fewer relatives who were scattered. He had brothers and half-brothers whom they visited occasionally but not often.

There were basic values lived and taught in the upbringing of the children: thrift, honesty, trustworthiness, and a work ethic were instilled from day one. Ross says that the latter became so much a part of his life that he has guilt feelings when he wastes time. He recalls one conversation when he was home from college for a weekend. He mentioned to his mother that he had slept in that morning, hadn’t gotten up until 9:00 and her remark was, "Wasn’t there something you could have been doing?"

Ross went to Grant #9 school, a one-room brick schoolhouse, until 7th grade. Those same values were continued and enlarged upon in school. Ross says that he got half his education inside the schoolroom and the other half out on the ball diamond, because that school played softball from the time the snow left the ground until it returned again in the winter.

The family moved to a farm near Voorhies where Ross attended school briefly and then went to Reinbeck, a school now affiliated with Gladbrook which was an interesting development considering what rivals they had been. Ross graduated from Reinbeck in 1952. A year and a half later he was drafted into the U.S. Army and had his 16 weeks of Infantry Basic Training at Ft. Riley, Kansas and then spent some time at Ft. Hood, Texas before being honorably discharged.

Ross looked on those two years as disciplined and practically wasted time but he has since realized that he derived many benefits. For instance, he went on to school on the G.I. bill without which further education might not have been possible. He has also enjoyed the property tax break for veterans. Looking back, he concludes they were valuable years.

Ross attended Tarkio College from 1955-1959 with a music education major. This is where he and Pat met. Ross commented that it was surely not the most practical thing he ever did, to fall in love with a girl from Pittsburgh, because it necessitated a long distance courtship. Pat went back to Pittsburgh and, when Ross graduated, his first job was teaching music in northern Arizona. During the time he was in service he had visited friends in that state, liked it very much and decided that was where he’d like to go when he got his teaching credentials. He sent out a lot of resumes - all to big schools, "a guy with no experience wanting to start at the top." He received one reply from a very small school which was part of a county-wide system. He took the position of music teacher at Sanders, Arizona on the edge of an Indian Reservation.

The first year Ross was there he was single. He was introduced to the Navajo culture by a teacher friend who took him to his first "Squaw Dance." Not knowing what a Squaw Dance was he was really flying blind. After driving a number of miles over rough roads that narrowed to almost a trail, they came over a hill and viewed about 30 pickups encircling what must have been about an acre of land. In the center of that stood a large burning woodpile which supplied light for the festivities. At one side of the circle the Navajo men stood singing together in high falsetto voices accompanied by a single drum. The sight was eerie, the sound chilling and Ross’ first inclination was to run. Yet he and his friend stayed and enjoyed the festivities. Ross enjoyed the deep—fat fried bread made by the Indian women at the edge of circle. They were also selling pop off the beds of the pickups. Primarily it was the men who danced in typical Indian fashion. In the months to follow he grew confident enough to attend these affairs on his own.

The school’s basketball team played McNary, Arizona, which was a logging community with many black students. The shortest member of their team was probably 6’1" and they dominated the Indian boys who might average 5’8". Additionally, they had a coach that liked to run up the score so they would often score 100 points or better against Ross’ school team who might score 20 or 25. Being beaten is one thing; insulted is something else and Ross would be angry for several days.

Ross and Pat were married in 1960, and what a culture shock Pat had when she moved from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania to the town with a population of 60 people. One building housed the post office and grocery store. Food was high because it had to be trucked in from areas a long ways away. The Frahms lived in a mobile home 8’x35’. The bathroom was small enough that you could sit on the stool, lay your head in the sink, take a shower and light the furnace all at the same time.

There was no t.v. — well, one couple had a set with a small screen and everyone would gather around watching this little tiny screen, which was all fuzzy and blurry because they had access to just one channel, Albuquerque — and it came by way of a series of booster stations. If the set was on, that was what you got. No choices. Now we have 30 channels and say, "There’s nothing on t.v."

That was the nearest they had to prepared entertainment. The only other entertainment was socializing with the teachers, the people of the community and school activities. There wasn’t any job for Pat so there was little for her to do. She spent her time with the women, walking to the post office, having coffee and then it was time for lunch. They made their own fun which brought them closer together and some of those friends are still their friends today.

One time Ross talked Pat into attending a Squaw Dance. They drove out to the reservation but got into some loose sand, the car became stuck, and they were stranded because the more the wheels spun the deeper the car became mired. By that time it was dark and a Navajo man came by riding his horse. Patty dove into the car, locked the doors, wondering if they were going to be scalped. They never tried it again.

They lived there for two years but spent the summers at Flagstaff, Arizona where Ross got his M.A. degree in music education. While they were there Pat went to the Dean’s office to ask if there was a possibility of a job for someone with secretary skills. She said, "As a matter of fact, I am looking for someone"; so for two summers Pat worked for the Dean of Women, Margaret Pipes. It was an interesting job as well as producing some income.

Ross began to miss green grass and the ability to plant a garden. There came the time when he had had enough and said it was time to move back to the Midwest. He had done his student teaching at Tarkio and the superintendent still remembered Ross which favored him when they needed a music teacher. That gave them the opportunity and they moved back to Missouri. Ross taught band and vocal music for 6th through 12th grades. Tarkio being a college town, Ross enjoyed working with talented students and having the help of college professors if he needed them. It was in Tarkio that Beverly was born. They still went back to Flagstaff for the summers until Ross finished his degree.

For economic reasons they went to Corning, Iowa where he had only vocal music. This is when they adopted Stephen. They applied through Hillcrest Services. That process was interesting. They had to fill out papers but had no warning when the call came, "We have this baby boy and he weighs (so much) and we’d like you to come down on (such and such) a day and get him." They were to meet at a church, bring the baby’s clothes and take him home. Beverly was then four years old, so they took her and went to get him. He was two weeks old when he came to them. Friends at Corning helped furnish what they needed for this new baby whom they didn’t know was coming. From Corning they moved to Osceola where Ross again taught vocal music for grades seven through twelve. Beverly had kindergarten and first grade in Corning. The rest of her and Stephen’s schooling was here. Beverly’s second grade teacher was Nancy Meyer, and this past year Beverly’s daughter Jennifer had Nancy for her teacher. Both Beverly and Stephen graduated from Clarke Community Schools.

Pat kept busy raising children and, when Stephen went to school, taught Head Start for 12 years, First as teacher’s assistant under Julie Dougherty; then when Julie began teaching school, Pat became- the teacher/director. Pat loves working with children and enjoys her contact with them now in the Children’s library in the Osceola Public Library. At the present time she is working just two days a week.

Over a period of several years Ross considered resigning. He still had the same love for music, the same need for teaching; but everything else had changed — his age, the nature of the students and the demands on their time, as well as the attitudes of parents. He did quit teaching in 1976 and began working for Schwan’s Sales Enterprises, Inc. He worked in the depot here for four years, then went back to teaching at Southeast Warren. He had band and vocal music for one year and planned to go back another year, but he had applied at the Post Office years before. He had taken the test but had heard nothing. Out of the blue one day Dennis Van Gorp called and asked if he would come to work. He had about one day to make the decision. He had to pay a penalty to break his contract but he decided to do it. He began his Post Office work and has been there for 15 years. It hardly seems possible.

Ross, his two brothers and, sister—in-law began singing together as a quartette when Pat and Ross came back to this part of the country. A cappella — no accompaniment, boom boxes or anything. Their voices just blended. How unusual that there is a tenor, baritone, and bass among the fellows with Bernice singing alto. They have sung at family get-togethers, lots of happenings at the Reinbeck Presbyterian church, as well as the Osceola United Methodist or in Ames where Warren was the pastor of Northminster Presbyterian Church and is now retired.

Ross has also organized other vocal groups as well as bands that have performed in the area. Pat said, "I sing only if there is a dire need for an alto. I appreciate music which is important when you live with a music teacher. My mother sang for years and my brother still sings. My dad and I don’t."

Eight years ago Pat’s parents moved in with Ross and Pat in Osceola. Pat’s mother died in their home five years ago. After she died Pat’s father broke his hip which caused some decisions to be made. Pat was still working and really didn’t want to quit so he lived in two private homes — that of Flo and Marion Morris and, when she became unable to care for people, he went to live at the home of Ronda Nerness about ten miles from town. Having always lived in a city and around lots of people, he was not accustomed to the country. He is a social person and needed socialization. Ross and Pat had a room so the obvious solution was for him to go back and live with them, and is still there. He is now 88 years old, will be 89 in November.

Pat acknowledges that she depends a great deal on Ross. He has, she says, more patience than she. She is still her dad’s daughter and that is the way he sees her. Now the roles are reversed and it is not easy for either of them. Beverly graduated from Northwest Missouri State University and then married Jeff Pollard who farms. They live north of Woodburn. They have three daughters —Jennifer, 8; Jaime, 5; and Kristin, 15 months at the time of this writing. Beverly has been teaching kindergarten for ten years in the Clarke Community school system.

Stephen is in the Air Force and married a Japanese woman, Junko, when he was stationed in Japan. She had a little boy whose name is James Shou. They have been married a year and now have their own little girl. Her American name is Rachael and her Japanese name is Miu. They were here last October, 1995. The long flight to Japan makes Pat reluctant to go there or anywhere that they might arrange to meet. Stephen and his family probably will come here early in 1997.

Ross and Pat have taken trips with Shirley Woods since 1988. Pat likes to travel this way and is happy that Ross likes to do this, too. At the time of this writing they were just back from St. Louis where they saw a ball game. Pat admits that she is not that interested in baseball but liked the stadium and hot dogs. Of course, they also go other places by themselves.

The deep spirituality that expressed itself in one way in the life of Pat’s brother and Ross’ family has been a part of their lives as well. They were raised in the Presbyterian Church but became United Methodists when we came to Osceola. They consider themselves the strays of both their families.

Ross began singing in the choir and eventually became choir director. They have held various positions in the church — teaching Sunday School, Esther Circle of which (illegible) currently leader for this present year, and some committee work. After Ross had directed the choir for twenty years he decided that was enough for both him and the choir. He continued singing until he was asked to direct the Christian Church choir which is what he is doing presently.

They agree that you need a strong faith these days, a trust in each other, and a good sense of humor. Those ingredients have pulled them through many situations.

Lo, I am with you always.
(Matt. 28:20b Favorite Bible verse,
Rayola Andrew)

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Last Revised April 28, 2012